Let’s Talk About… (#7) – Being the Bigger Person

Often, for no apparent reason, people may seemingly dislike you or treat you a little more coarsely than they treat others. The most obvious explanations would be that they are  jealous, or have their own issues or have low self-esteem. Whatever the case may be, it often leaves you feeling, if not upset, then confused about why they treat you the way they do. As children, we would refer to these people as ‘playground bullies’, but in reality, you can encounter bullies at any age.

The thing about situations like these is that a lot of the time when you try to confide in someone you trust and explain to them how the other person is making you feel, the response is usually; “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’re just imagining it!”, or “Just ignore them and they’ll get bored and leave you alone” or the worst response you could possibly hear; “Well you must be doing something to annoy them!”. Unfortunately, when the other person is subtle in their ways, in that it is only noticeable to you, then it is near impossible for another person to understand how you feel and how hurtful it can be. In addition to this, it’s often as if these people know exactly when to strike; either when you’re having a really  good day, or perhaps when you’re having a rubbish day; right on cue, they come along with a snide comment to ruin your day. It can get to the point where you dread going somewhere for fear of seeing that person.

In my work environment, I experience these types of scenarios pretty often; be it from a manager or even customers. For example, when managers make jokes which they think are funny but are at your expense and expect you to laugh with them, or when customers are impatient/rude/demanding/insulting/racist. It can be exhausting having to smile through it all. However, that is exactly what you must do. Think about it; if people are so bitter that they would try to make someone else miserable, then why give them the satisfaction and allow them to drag you down to their level and join them in Mopeyville?

What I have realised is that when people behave in this manner they are simply reflecting their own personal issues and feelings. You should feel sorry for them; why would you want to make someone feel bad about themself just because you do. In reality, when you do feel bad about yourself, the best way to make yourself feel happier is to bring joy to other people. In this case, even if you are doing something to annoy them, then it’s being nice, and who can really complain that someone is being nice to them? There is a classic saying; ‘Kill them with kindness’, and that is literally your best bet. It will frustrate the other person even more until they see the error in their ways. A lot of the time, you may never know that the other person acknowledges the error in their ways and you may never get an apology, but at least you will have a clear conscience as you did nothing to aggravate the situation on your part.

All this is not to say that you should smile through someone taking advantage of you or persistently bringing you down and being either verbally or physically abusive towards you. In some cases, it is definitely necessary to speak out and stand up to the other person; to defend yourself. The message of this post it to not allow others to diminish your happiness on account of their bitterness and ‘hateration’.

haterationholleration

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close